sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. PostedMay 8, 2018 Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. For example, if your neighbor is playing loud music, ask for the music to be turned down instead of offering judgment about what the neighbor is doing. defensive Click below to listen now. It's important that you learn to work through defensive behavior in a relationship because if we don't learn how to deal with our grievances head-on, inevitably we deal with them indirectly. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. What do you call a defensive person? Sharing feelings builds intimacy, but it's also vulnerable. Which of these items is named for a deadly weapon. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Now that you know about the signs of being defensive, you might also be wondering if there are different types of defensiveness. (2020). Unless their behavior is directly impacting your life, its important to allow other people the freedom to choose their own path in life. Instead, focus on areas where you feel confident, whether its your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle, your religious faith, your readiness to help others, your passion for art, or any other value you hold dear. How do you sit calmly and quietly while your partner laments that you're neither emotionally available nor trustworthy? It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. Advertisement 2. If your partner forgets to call, you need to express how you feel. Remember that you are responsible for your own behavior and your own reactions; the other person does not need to behave in a certain way to make you feel better. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. Hear a word and type it out. a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways, designed for defense from a surface position against air attack, designed for defense against armored vehicles, attempting to or designed to prevent an opponent from winning or scoring, intended or adapted to afford protection of some kind, for the purpose of attack rather than defense, having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends, designed to inflict death or personal injury rather than material destruction, designed for or consisting of a brief attack followed by a quick escape, characterized by plundering or pillaging or marauding. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. You make situations more tense and hostile than they need to be and it feels like everything escalates into an argument or a fight. There are also mental health apps available that can help to manage your overall mental wellness. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. Of course, its not realistic to expect to always respond to every type of criticism in this way. When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. Theyre all pros at getting defensive. Learn more about defensive behavior, and get advice on how to approach and resolve conflict with a defensive person. On the other hand, you may wish to know how to stop making other people react in a defensive way. These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'defensive.' Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Copyright 2023 Vocabulary.com, Inc., a division of IXL Learning Adjective. wary. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. When we asked her about the mistakes, she became, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Indianapolis has requested an interview with Broncos, Speculation has swirled around Arizona potentially elevating, Earlier in Smarts tenure at his alma mater, Georgia fans worried about whether the former, Chances are the Bulldog QB will eventually become familiarized with, Reporters spoke to Longo and Mike Tressel, UWs, And Philip Davis, prime minister of the Bahamas, has had to come out on the, Without consistent political support from both parties, the I.R.S. distrustful. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Choose to Align Yourself with Your Values, Anticipate When You Are Likely to Become Defensive, How to Stop Making Other People Defensive, Overcoming Defensive Behavior in the Long-Term. Friction can be necessary, and even healthy at times. If your partner is giving you criticism that is making you feel defensive, can you express why? This information should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. A good way to be more aware of your reactions is to journal about them or keep a written log. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Avoiding conflict isnt always healthy. Its a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context. All Rights Reserved. The researchers found that those who had been primed to think intelligence was fixed made themselves feel better by comparing their performance to those who did worse than thema defensive reaction: Well, at least I did better than those morons.. Learn a new word every day. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. Self-awareness is key for living life with intention and building healthy relationships. Here's what EQ is, its components, and how to improve it. Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Since you cant always avoid conflict, it may be beneficial to consider these tips and tricks for communicating effectively, especially with someone defensive. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting So when you least feel like reaching out to connect, take a risk and try it; the results will pay off (much more than isolating yourself). WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Before you can focus on others reactions to conflicts, its best to grow your self-awareness. You end up making other people feel bad without the intention to do so and this makes you feel even worse. And we're rewarded because each thing they say and do activates the connection center of our brain. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. Hear a word and type it out. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. 20 Common Defense Mechanisms and How They Work. At the heart of our vulnerability lies the feeling that we've been hurt by someone we love. Blame the other person for what they are criticizing you about. Bring up past things that the other person did wrong and avoid talking about the current issue. wary. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using I statements. Instead, show empathy and concern for the situation that the other person is experiencing. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. As you validate your feelings of being hurt or feeling ashamed, and show compassion toward yourself for how you are feeling, you can also acknowledge the fact that you dont need to act upon the impulse to react defensively. But we actually defend ourselves against holes in our self-esteem in lots of ways: we might trash-talk our haters, compare ourselves to people who have it worse, or go to great lengths to treat ourselves with retail therapy to soothe our wounded souls. We automatically assume that conflict will collapse a relationship. As you point out the flaws in the other person to avoid feeling attacked, you end up making the other person defensive as well. Wignall N. Defensiveness: How it Works and What to Do About It, By Arlin Cuncic Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight If you find yourself feeding off another persons anger and becoming even angrier as a response, maybe a third party can approach the issue. Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. To wrap it all up, leave great defense to the likes of that balled-up porcupine. Making educational experiences better for everyone. Instead of immediately reacting to your feelings of being hurt or feeling criticized, you could try taking responsibility for whatever part you might be responsible for in the situation. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior In addition, its generally a good idea to remain open-minded to the ideas and perspectives of others. When we experience our partner as a threat, we withdraw to protect ourselves from further injury. People who are insecure or guilty tend to act defensive. Lets take a look at some of the common signs that you might be acting in a defensive way.. self-protective. What do a medieval fortress, a balled-up porcupine, and a linebacker have in common? Overall, you feel negative a lot of the time and have lost your ability to see the positive in anything in your life. Opposite offensive The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. Rather than approach situations in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person as taking an investigative approach. In fact, there are a number of different styles of being defensive. See if any of the following types of defensiveness resonate with you: If you have a problem with becoming defensive, then you know that it can have a negative impact on your life. Over time, your goodwill and empathy toward others has been eroded. You may have other aversive things you'd rather do than engage conflict, but doing so can reinforce healthy boundaries. A study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. In understanding defensiveness better, we can learn to dismantle it as a habit and begin engaging more compassionately and openly in our relationships. Delivered to your inbox! Say more about that. And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. cautious. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. If not, its time to get clear on how you want to behave. However, this method may be limiting because you may be focused on ways to bend that could compromise some of your needs while trying to meet the needs of the other. . Of or relating to defense. Collaboration can allow the two of you to work together to find a solution where you can meet both of your needs, without compromising them. After they read, they answered some questions that supposedly gauged their comprehension. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. What Is Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder? This could be particularly helpful if you are experiencing defensiveness in your relationship. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Remembering our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel less defensive. What do you call a defensive person? Compromise is often the best course of action when settling a conflict is more important than getting what you want. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. If you feel like youre having a mental health emergency, you can: If you decide to call an emergency number like 911, ask the operator to send someone trained in mental health, like Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) officers. Opposite. Learn communication skills to. Woodfellow D. Why Do People Get So Defensive? WebDistrustful of others. Adjective. (2017). This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person. Or we drink or otherwise self-medicate to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem. And once youve composed yourself, its time for the last step. How do you silence your inner-lawyer's constant stream of counterarguments? Getting defensive in response to disruptions like these in your relationship is natural. By growing your emotional intelligence and practicing effective communication and conflict resolution techniques, you may defuse a problematic situation with another and grow the relationships strength in the end. said Jem, trembling a little, and seizing his drinking-can as a, Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles instead of the, The Museum of the Faculty of Medicine of Paris possesses one of these. Remain calm even if you feel like becoming defensive in return (as this won't solve anything). The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. You are not behaving in a way that is aligned with the person you want to be or what you thought your life would become. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Thats why driver safety training is so important. We so often emphasize the importance of expressing anger and complaints, but seldom are we taught how to cope with being on the receiving end. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Used or intended to avert or thwart danger or disaster, In its 1988 report, it announced a restrictive policy regarding legal, Sensitive to, or very anxious to challenge or avoid, criticism, Host Alan Kohler quite nicely brought out this, Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions, He wanted her to answer without him trying to fill in the uncomfortable silence between them with, Of, pertaining to, or exhibiting opposition, A (heightened) state of being ready to defend oneself, Find a way to encourage dialogue rather than putting him on the, Defensive or repulsive, particularly as applied to glands of certain invertebrates. Above all else, it is important to be aware of and acknowledge your own failings. But it's all about your recovery time: Holding onto a defensive attitude is a decidedly different way of approaching your relationship than recognizing that you're being defensive and letting it go. Feeling caught off guard or surprised by someone can make it more likely that you will react defensively. WebDistrustful of others. But in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. It makes me feel like you dont trust me. Sometimes a simple, I hear what youre saying, is enough to defuse the tension and have a real conversation. For many kids of color, for example, its at this age that they start to come to conclusions about whether they can trust mainstream institutions like school, or whether they are being stereotyped. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. Alternatively, dont be afraid to stay momentarily silent. 1. Obreabska M, et al. Using the word opinion. EI is the ability to understand, manage, and use your emotions in positive ways to help communicate with others, relieve stress, and diffuse conflict. Rather than getting defensive, they adopted a growth mindset and tried to learn how to improve their own performance. Why? To save this word, you'll need to log in. How many can you get right? Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Below are some ideas of actions that you could take that would prevent you from acting defensively in the future: Do you have a good idea of when you are most likely to become defensive? That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. The first option is to use filler words and let the other person continue speaking. Both praise and critical feedback can be confusing for kids of colorhow can they be sure criticism is justified or just driven by bias? It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. Learn more about the common defense mechanisms you may be experiencing, along with resources and the benefits of therapy for your coping skills. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. In the first stage of love, when we're infatuated by the freshness and excitement of new romance, we anticipate the best in our new partner. This could mean the difference for you in terms of improving your communication skills and managing your defensive reactions. You could say, Go on or Oh? Here are 12 truths about defensiveness that can help us better understand this self-protecting impulse. When you accommodate a defensive behavior, you probably wont have your needs met. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. You should consider releasing your judgment of the other person and consider why theyre reacting in such a way. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D., is a psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. Below are some ideas to get you started on a path toward being less defensive. Boost your test score with programs developed by Vocabulary.coms experts. For example, if you were asked to do something and did not do it, you could respond by saying, Youre right, I should have done that. . Thats why driver safety training is so important. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. A slightly awkward pause buys you time and, as a bonus, throws them off their game. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. Perhaps its around a certain person or in a certain situation. How many can you get right? 2. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant If despite your best efforts you are still having trouble stopping your defensive behavior, this might mean that you would benefit from professional help. As the chemistry of the "honeymoon phase" shifts, a second kind of circuitry emerges, one that is about sustainable connection. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. cautious. In the other case, there is a clear goal to your communication and an easy way for the other person to comply. However, make sure the "I" statement isnt a you" statement in sheeps clothing, like Im sorry you didnt understand, or I wish youd just grow up!.
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