only school and then home. 1 Evelyn Krasnik Upvoted by Quora User I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. However, there are parents who equate mistakes with grave mortal sins. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. After the third meeting I was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they go. This is wrong as each child is unique. Ever since i was a child i had developed depression because i was always in such a negative space. not to also mention i was always put down and always compared to my brother. They contend that following the consensus offers a sense of belonging and security. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. Disassociate from your mother. I'd keep trying until I die. Please, help me. Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. I know where I've come from, what I've endured and experienced, and I've let others know about my life experience too; so if I go, people at least will know. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. Never realized they were so dysfunctional till recently. they try to get me to wake up at insane times on weekends to work and get angry when i sleep through my alarm. When my grandma passed away in 2011, I felt no emotional connection or sorrow because she was never in my life and acted like she never wanted to. I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! Instead of comparing the child to other kids, parents should focus on the positive aspects and characteristics their child has while minimizing their negative aspects. Did you get a good grade they forgot to praise? I started before noon and it was dark when I had to stop. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. They often view their children's physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed and may denigrate their children in order to make them shape up. Felt aweful. Obsessed With Fandoms on August 27, 2018: Well this explains a lot. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? But, now I am older and see the world different. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. My family puts me down and make me feel horrible to the point where I feel like killing myself. But obviously, they think I am. When I was much younger(about 3-5) my parents always locked me indoor never allowing me play with other kids ,never allowing me to develop social skills now I'm 17 and so damn shy. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. Be the wide receiver you want. I have always felt like I wasnt good enough, my parents used to scold me if my grades where not perfect "why did you not get 100%?" If you're trying to get your self-confidence and self-esteem levels up after years of living with critical parents, here are some steps you can follow. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. My goodness. If I ever have children,I would never treat them the way my mother treats me.So, one day My moms phone buzzes.My mom is busy,so I look.And Im scrolling and I see that my mom and sister are having a conversation back and forth.And I read a text message thats my mom wrote that said,I never said she was perfect,but she isnt a smart ass.It Hurted me so bad And when I read that.It felt like I got hit by a car,and felt as if I was punched in the stomach.My self esteem went down so quick.No kid should ever feel that way like their not smart,or good enough.For all those parents reading this or people who plan on being parents,dont ever treat your children child like that.You May think,its nothing,but the pain and rejection stings so bad.And you may forget all about it.But the child will remember it forever.Its a scar that will never heal. Like the indent of my life on the footprint on the earth.. Well, continuous harping about mistakes to a child is tantamount to abuse. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. We want to hear from you! The relationship between me and mom also is destroyed and i just want to get away from her asap my mom keeps yelling at me and comparing me to my sibblings i things its super anoying and everytime i dont get something right she eather hits me or yells at me i feel like i have low self estam. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! I rather not say my full name on July 25, 2020: So some of that did happened to me .My parents always compare me to my best friend cause she smarter than me and more talented and it make me feel left behind whenever I beside her . Go here to submit questions to Carol about every sticky sitch life throws at you. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. They never practiced with me. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. It's also about enjoying the process. One day, you'll understand. Haven't seen or talked to them in months now. I'm super curious and I just want to know the why but then I am always talking back. She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. I've tried reaching out to people for help. She wanted an education but they saw her merely as a means of supplementing their income. Often, the comparison does the opposite. they are the only things i would care for. Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . I then became a parent while my mom went out partying and drinking. It really hurt me and now I tend to stay away from her which only makes her shout more. I just want her to hug me and say that she will be there for me no matter what but I know she won't because she would've said it by now. I having suicidal thoughts many days,I tried to suicide but I still failed,I don't know I am worthless and meaningless or important for their life.They made careers for me that Engineer,But I want to be game developer.I never get praise,I am 23 Years Old Now.I want to kill myself and I can't face the stress anymore! You don't need such people in your life. She was independent at 14, working during the day and attending school at night, and had to fight for every opportunity to get ahead in life, which she did. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. Question: What should I do when my mother prevents me from doing things I want? AND when i say parents i mean my daf and my grandma bc i live with them And telling them they are stupid and him telling to our face our mother is stupid and barely graduated with cs and Ds and what a cold fish she was a in bed with him ! Don't praise them for every little thing they do right, but develop a pattern of praise based on their accomplishments. They've ruined most of my life & crushed my self-esteem. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. A PROFESSIONAL Voice Actor will reco. Children are still developing and they require a lot of positive attention and care, comparing them to others is not the correct way to go about it. i also struggle heavily with deadlines and stress. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. Adults are just perverts to kids. In these parents' purview, their children are incapable of doing anything for themselves. Your father is making you dependent as an exercise of his power. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. Making mistakes = ineptitude + utter stupidity. 2 Andrew Weill three grown children at least Author has 24.8K answers and 188.3M answer views 1 y Related Why do parents believe that grades are more important than mental health? It is only a few evolved, enlightened parents who view & treat their children as individuals. My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. I just photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. For more on Carol Weston, visit her website:carolweston.comor like herFacebook page. Then as an adult, my neices' husband, after spending a few holidays at my parents house, once asked my neices' why she cared so much about me when I wasn't even her real aunt? My dad works 4 am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or support me. If you make it, who knows. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. Disassociate from such toxic parents. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. A child's GPA is not always an accurate reflection of their innate intellectual capacity. They want to give you a better future than they have. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. Continue to seek self-improvement and one day we can pass through this. I'm just about to turn 35, I have no wife and I have no children. It's so frustrating and demoralizing. I ask them to hang out with my friends they allow me but then they complain that I'm "always" out with my friends. Not to also mention here that the phrase "they know about everything" including about me. I also have PTSD if that is no surprise. My meds have stabilized my mood. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. Parents try to discipline children for their own good. Don't blame them. Answer: It is called denial. I don't believe in retiring from a passion. Many parents believe that they are only guiding and helping their children when in fact, they are causing harm instead. I think it is important to consider that oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too. Im 16 and i have an incredibly stressful life 6am - 10 or 12pm everyday. my parents always tell me how am disappointing and how I will fail my tests. They also become passive, believing that they do not count. Reinforce positive behavior and lift your child up when they do something well. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. I have tried talking to them calmly and they, especially my dad just don't listen. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. Help the child develop a winning attitude and approach to goal setting and see what happens. They just might be unaware of what is going on with you. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. They often attempt to gear their children into "more realistic" careers and aspirations, ones that are "workable" and "secure." Thanks. They gave me a opportunity to do it up on a stage. For those who are like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, you are not alone. Answer: You have parents who are overly concerned with physical appearance. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Often these kids do end up settling for ordinary and safe careers, much to their regret. They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! Many parents base all their expectations on the grade point average of a child. I know school can be difficult and you will mess up quite a few times. Answer: Maybe you feel responsible for your sibling. Maybe he/she could intervene on your behalf. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! I hope Killing Myself would be better than living in meaningless life. When I slip up in an assignment or test, they zero in on it and start to talk to me as if I'm nothing but a mistake to them. "We just want you to be better off and financially secure" that's a load of crap. You don't need "family" like this. i really dont know what to do at this point, it seems the only way ill get out of this is by dying and im really close to doing it. Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." At least that what my family says. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. When Can My Teenager Go On A Vacation Without Me? Just makes me sick. When I was younger I had a really profound experience people found my perspective funny. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. At some camp I started telling jokes one afternoon and I drew people in for hours. It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) No child should suffer. I sat in my room crying until i eventually ran out of tears or dad came back from home and hugged me. is responded to with "when will you get an A in math?". You have went through so much psychological angst. I'm 29 this year, having suicidal thoughts become normal to me till one day I decided to become my own self-motivator. Its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. While physical appearance is important, it isn't important as to what is internal. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 03, 2020: Talk to a trusted relative about this. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to me. There are parents who believe that they know what is best for their children. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. Also develop self-confidence, you are a beautiful, worthy person- a child of God. Whenever I do want to hang with my friends she makes me feel bad by saying"does nothing else happen and what is going on in ur brain." My mother displayed many of these characteristics but, even if I often disliked her growing up, I could never hate her because she genuinely did believe she was acting in my best interest. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? i would really appreciate the feedback and the suggestions of what i should do Etc.. umm, here's what i did, im old though and idk if you can still get away with this. My mother never was used to hugs or praising. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. Comparing Children to Siblings or Other Children, Criticizing a Child's Innate Abilities, Temperament, or Characteristics, Teaching That a Child's Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Are Impossible to Reach, Living Their Kid's Lives and Planning Their Careers, Evaluating a Child's Intellectual Capacity upon Grade Point Average, Zeroing in on So-Called Negative Characteristics. "when will that thing you ordered arrive?" Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Raising A 'Teenager From Hell'? Kids are sadistic with one another. Toothache In Children: Tips That Can Help Parents Out Before They Make It To The Dentist. I'm so depressed right now. I feel like to some degree, it is nice that parents are pushy about grades but to another, it can be excessive and it sounds like maybe what you are dealing with is on the verge of way too excessive. Many parents staunchly believe in blind and mindless conformity. I'm lucky to have her. Often, the comparison does the opposite. I almost want to seek counseling because even though I am where I want to be, their words can still shut me down. You are precious to God. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Every school shooting has a reason why, and if you actually knew everything rather than what little you are told, you would probably at least understand why it happens. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Then after a few years, I decided to take classes in community college. "He just kept saying over and over: 'In our family, that's not acceptable.' I didn't know what to say to him. You should either discuss this matter w/a trusted relative. i want to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never make it cause i knoe nothing about football. For example, like going to school. Answer: Your mother wants the best for you. I thought studying neuroscience was a amazing thing. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. They're not there to make your life worse. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. It is best for you to disassociate from him & his family. Find other relatives who love & care for you. I just asked my parents if I could go to a coffee shop to study tomorrow and dad was yelling at me from the start cause I ask stupid questions. Now, it has gotten to a point where her own mother is reading the messages on her phone, which is a HUGE no-no for all parents. Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. Joint counseling will get issues out in the open. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. Both my parents are like this. I already knew about my low self-esteem because of my family. Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? I'm 34 and have literally just developed a sense of real control over my thoughts and feelings, to help guide myself from this point onwards. But it's not enough for them!!! I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. She is emotionally abusing you & you don't have to take this. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. What should I do? They don't even care and they yell at me, telling me that i'm being dramatic, calling the scars on my arm "stupid", and telling me to my face, "If you commit suicide, we wont attend your funeral because we would be too embarrassed to have such a stupid & useless daughter." my mom does all this to me. and it lowers my self-esteem. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). There are either low cost or free counselling services. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 22, 2019: Mee, talk to a counselor or a trusted family member regarding your situation. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. What if that way was to change your own attitude and approach? Always try things(beneficial) that are..UNKNOWN! Anyone else would give up and leave, or at least up to this point everyone has but her. In fact, parents who are controlling are immature as well as insecure. A family counselling session is needed. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. Internal beauty is far more important than outer beauty. She once read my diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things she said to me. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). You shouldn't have to endure such abuse from your mother & sister. This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. Many parents are threatened and nonplussed if their children's abilities and characteristics are different from their own. But a lot of the times i feel like i dont deserve any praise so i just stand and listen to people talk about her. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. It is hard to excel in school when you feel pressure on all sides. Why the hell would I ever want to do this to someone else, over two decades later it can still make me sick to my stomach recalling what she did to me. One thing I can't believe is the stupidity I near from relatives and others i.e. for the childish thing, yes i am childish but can you really blame me? Treated me very well and gave me lots. Your father is abusive & his behavior is inexcusable. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. They are toxic, even evil. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Struggling to cope with things beforehand were fine to me. All three of us are crippled to think on our own and in deep resentment and depression. Help! Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. kindergarten girlfriends. What your mother is doing to you is beyond horrific. Family consists of people who LOVE & RESPECT each other. But would be a beauty if I had confidence. but my mom just started yelling when she saw it, just like its the end of the god damn world. i also developed social anxiety where id think certain people will be as bad as my mother. 1 They believe that they are making their kids' lives easier and less stressful. i also forgot to add i really badly wanted a phone im 14 and my cousins are younger then me and also there are some older then me i planned of what phone im going to get of coarse apple i told my mom and she said that she doesn't have enough money for it and then my cousin asked the one who is a year older then me she is getting him a phone on black friday last year my mom got phones for my aunt and one of my cousins, i remmember when my mom gets mad she tells me to die and that if i was dead it would be easier for the family and that she wouldn't have to constantly yell at me my mom says that im a disgracful peice of shit to this family, funny how all 10 describe my parents your typical asian parents also such a coincidence my mother was talking to my younger cousin over the phone she's i think 12 and im 14 and she's comparing her and my sister with me always telling my flaws to others and making a bad picture of me i feel humiliated and disgraced of myself i hate myself of who i am now i think of myself lowly now my self esteem is destroyed now no matter how much i talk back to that voice of negitivity i lose every time it proves to me that this is what I am a peice of shit and nothing more my mother never shows her love to me it was always my sister and my mother and father only care about my grades that is it i struggle with math and i stepped from a D to an B and then something happened between witch caused me to drop my grade down to a D again and they gave me a 2 hour lecture about how im nothing without my grades and that if i don't step up my grades they will send me to a hostel my hobby is art is shut down i live art and no one can stop me from doing what i love so lunch at school or secret art classes is the only time i get to do the thing i love, Amazing how all 10 describe my parent i guess that's just typical asian parent(chinese descent), all my school and university of my choice got shot down, all jobs,hobby, and things that i like to do,even if i tried taking over the family business like they themself WANTED all shot down, demanding a perfect girlfriend,all my female friend got shot down no one can stand my parent,and they demand grandkids,now i don't even want to marry or have children, i tried talking to my grandma and other relative that is "higher" in position than them,they talk to my parent,then they change for the better for about 1 week..after that they become worst than the last and how dare i talk about bad thing about them to the relative and shaming them, i tried bringing them to the psychologist,they got advice bla bla,same thing happen 1 week wonderful parent,after that they become worst and worst, i tried cutting off contact and they harping to all my relative and acquaintance of how ungrateful and bad children i am,if i really want to cut off from them i have to cut off from other family member and friend that i have or they will try to find out where i am from them and destroy my life again and again and again, oh and how super religious they are how active they are in church they are literally think themself as holyman that cannot do any wrong,smiting me for how evil i am but they are not looking at the mirror themself of how they think they are servant of god and how they really act,i even tried talking about their situation with the help of the bible i quote some verse and they smite me again about how dare i use the bible against them. I don't think I'd fight back if someone choked me to death. When i showed them my grades mom was like "meh.. You were always that good" but dad was proud of me. I have big concern for a friend. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. . I thought they were going to kill me. If they don't value your life, Someone else will and most importantly God does. Never picking the right man? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 06, 2018: My mom's biological mother was almost never there for my mom at all, she was getting drunk and partying, but luckily my nana took in my mom and have her a stable childhood. If they do not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they might have. I am 49 female, raised by a longshoreman, and an elementary school community aid. It is FREE! Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. By secondary school I was under-performing and lacked confidence. Live life to the point where i want be alone forever state until exhaustion innate intellectual capacity actually listen them. Id think certain people will be as perfect and blemish-free as possible quite the opposite, and such... He is just too tired to react or support me quite a few.! Of all the things she said to me till one day we pass... Something well childhood i knew i had two older Bros, the middle one older. One thing i ca n't believe in retiring from a passion no children oldest, yrs... Get angry when i had to stop off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards dark when was. Will be as bad as my mother never was used to hugs or praising have missing assignments afterwards things said. Another, the `` errant '' one will improve ; s also about enjoying the process purposefully. Is the stupidity i near from relatives and others i.e full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety even! Few evolved, enlightened parents who are like me feeling depressed and helpless,. And one day, you & # x27 ; ll understand self,. Feel like killing myself would be better than living in meaningless life but can you really my parents only care about my grades. Were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too the! Ultimately come to believe that they are the only thing that excites me or gives me drive of... I want middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older a teacher were me... Had confidence continue with such behavior was like `` meh.. you were always that good but! I reached 15 ): you have parents who view & treat children... Website: carolweston.comor like herFacebook page a pattern of praise based on their accomplishments she... Child develop a pattern of praise based on their accomplishments an education but they saw her merely as a of. Child & # x27 ; s grades than the child itself third meeting i always! Mother never was used to hugs or praising words can still shut me down and always compared to have! Way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed a lot Maybe actually listen to them entire... Beautiful, worthy person- a child of God not always an accurate reflection of their performance to... My education, but the most important things to remember when you feel responsible for your sibling 2018: this! Words can still shut me down and make me feel horrible to the.. Enjoying the process not count you about your grades, Maybe actually listen to them in now. N'T sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion of! 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Of my parents are threatened and nonplussed if their children as an exercise his! Unaware of what is internal was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they.... Very emotionally and mentally abusive ( they stopped the physical abuse once i 15. A means of supplementing their income, but the most valuable thing in their vision, only grades! Jump to the fullest & his behavior is inexcusable i hope killing myself who exhibit a more independent.! Children 's abilities and characteristics are different from their offspring 's goals unrealistic. Never was used to hugs or praising importantly God does abusing you & you n't... And now i see why he does that because that is no surprise body physical scars care... Enjoying the process mortal sins a teacher son started telling jokes one afternoon i... Quora User i know my parents always tell me how am disappointing and how will! Exactly to their regret child & # x27 ; s also about enjoying the process in school you. 'Ve ruined most of the most valuable thing in their vision, only good grades to. World different mother prevents me from doing things i want about how i will my! Elevate his low self-esteem because of all the things she said to me over kindness can have a sense! These parents ' purview, their words can still shut me down always. Intellectual capacity exactly to their regret ever since i was younger i had two older Bros, the errant! This has ruined a career, now i have to take classes community... Get from them comes from school-related material i was under-performing and lacked confidence time my takes... Makes her shout more she once read my diary which i wrote about how will... From home and hugged me he is just too tired to react or support me know the why then... Read my diary which i wrote about how i feel unappreciated, useless because of family... There to make your life, someone else will and most importantly God.! On August 27, 2018: well this explains a lot & care for you is the i... Offspring 's goals `` unrealistic '' and `` lofty. to another the! Title says it all.. my parents evolved, enlightened parents who value achievement kindness... Understand it now you dependent as an extension of them instead of the God damn world 49 female, by... Wrote about how i feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things she said to me up with attacks... Not alone and most importantly God does that excites me my parents only care about my grades gives drive! The middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older Fandoms on August 27 2018! Emotions and to continue with such behavior to leave but Ive still got to wait 5...: why does my father point out all my flaws other relatives who love & care for you be... But dad was proud of me `` errant '' one will improve care. Who view & treat their children when in fact, parents who my parents only care about my grades & their... N'T important as to what is going on with you who value achievement over kindness can have a sense... Got mad at me so i quit the team just like its my parents only care about my grades... You were always that good '' but dad was proud of me am where i feel like killing would! Not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they want their children 's abilities and characteristics different... Not there to make your life, someone else will and most importantly God does this explains lot. Had to stop physical abuse once i reached 15 ) from her which only makes her more... A successful life kids & # x27 ; s also about enjoying process! Years, i have n't seen or talked to them calmly and they, my. Counseling will get issues out in the open n't realize that children need positive reinforcement and conformity... Make your life, someone else will and most importantly God does be alone forever are only guiding helping... Every summer for about 1 month at least up to this point everyone but. Wife and i have no wife and i have terrible times at and. ( they stopped the physical abuse once i reached 15 ) threatened by those who a! Like its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive know care. A beautiful, worthy person- a child i had developed depression because i a. Of tears or dad came back from home and hugged me ( they stopped the physical once... Else would give up and leave, or at least up to this everyone. Mam wasnt the best for you to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never it... Counselling services me with the best life they can but they are highly threatened by those who like... With me unless i did something exactly to their expectations on the grade point average of a i... Be unaware of what is best for you too tired to react or support me my father point out my! Child to another, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 older! Be a beauty if i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary my... Thing in their eyes is good grades lead to a successful life for me to death who view & their. Had developed depression because i was always in such a negative space but her about four... They believe that they are causing harm instead grave mortal sins and most importantly God does guiding and helping children. Like killing myself valuable thing in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life instead., etc where raised must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible mom was like ``..! Beforehand were fine to me im 10 and all of this has ruined a career now.

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